Self-Actualisation

this following letter of sorts was supposedly intended for my parents, a phase of my plan to get me out of SA, where in that case i would spam this letter to my parents' inboxes. anyway, while still in the midst of my consideration, i decided to publish my thoughts, or rather self-discourse, to allow opinions and the generation of ideas. hah. i do expect a result that's in favor of staying though. yes, it's self-indulgent, but then again, what do you expect during PW? pay attention? i do know it's so pseudo-cheem, so please lay off the flak that i don't sound the same as in person. maybe 'cos i don't (i) talk to you that much, (ii) i'm not so fake, or (iii) i assumed you wouldn't understand. [the three clauses don't apply to my dear friend George, for totally different reasons of course]. anyway, it was just some form of clarification of my reason to leave (still considering heavily). and yes it's a wee (really) little exaggeration.


Dear mom and dad （and self).

This note is regarding my utmost and innermost desire to leave the formalized institution of St. Andrews Junior College to pursue my dream of Visual Communications in either Laselle College or the Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts. For the past 4 months of junior college, I’ve had a terribly miserable experience due to the rigidness and lack of expression in this system. For want of sounding childish/ungrateful/naïve, I do believe my place of education lies in that of the Fine Arts. Rather than the institutionalized system and curriculum of examinations, tests and such, I do rather that of creative exploration by which I discover and harness my talents in art. The time spent in SA, I do truly feel, have been a wasted one, by which I suffer from intense pressures to do well in an otherwise constrictive and strangling manner. The subjects I take do not deliver any joy – Economics, History and Literature, in the sense that they lack intellectual engagement and are very much stoic and rigid in their form. The formality of such chokes my thought and self, threatening to engulf my own identity and person. The freedom and yet teaching in the Arts Colleges will allow me to grow both as a person and an artist, to do so, is to take a step closer to my dreams and ambitions. The exciting prospects of such do allow me some relief. The absolute dread and loathing I feel in relation to school and its associates allow me no joy, rather a dead existence that trudges along on sheer will and the lack of choice. Please do hear my pleas and cries for the emancipation of my person from the shackles of SA. This is by far, not an exaggeration nor a ungrateful plea from a brat, but rather a request to be the shining light that delivers from the evil one, the helping hand that frees me form my strongholds. In all, please do hear my cry from the depths of these god-forsaken pits, and grant my dear and sincere request.



Yours faithfully, sincerely and always, your loving son and physical body,

Em.


SAVE THE STUDENTS!

(funnily, i would rather be going to Temasek Poly's Visual Comm.)(it really doesn't make sense for me to stay: if i'm going to do the course after A Levels, then why wait?)