New blog skin; realised the narrowing limits of my IT skills and how its so freaking complicated.
On a brighter note, it's the mid of the much needed hols, and the mid of the f-ing prelims. Anyway, life's been better; a little.

Thinking of taking up smoking. Heard it relieves stress. Somehow it's smelling nicer.

I'm lying.

Anyway, it's the f-ing stress that's been getting to me. Dunno why, but for the first time in my entire academic life, school's been a real pain in the ass. Coupled with the stupid shizz thats been going on, it seems God is out to get me (though i know otherwise). I've been really really freaking faraway, and like what Rach felt, I feel like an outsider. I went on Saturday a couple weeks back, and like i was just standing freaking alone. I know it's cause the rest were busy and stuff, but compared to like years before, i would be able to talk to ANYONE. Times have changed, and maybe, we've grown up and grown apart. Both with the people and with God. Crisis.

I'll probably get a flood of concerned messages, but i guess its time to take it slow and alone. Though i said i felt like an outsider, the scary thing is that it feels alright. Loneliness as much cursed and feared, seems okay. Maybe i just don't care anymore. And thats what scares me most.

For those peeps who've been asking, i'm okay alright. I know i've been (and probably still) in a bad state and all, but thanks for your concerns and all ok.

Life's just one big mess, and we live to unravel it.